Tag Archives: Nine Lives

Top 10 Worst Movies of 2016

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Now this is the worst of the year list. As I said in the previous list, 2016 was a year of divisive movies, fortunately most of them I liked. There were also some pretty bad movies that were released this year. Fortunately I didn’t see all of them, I did however see enough to make a top 10 list. I’m probably not going to make an updated worst of 2016 list after the updated best of 2016 because that would mean that I would have to force myself to watch even more bad movies, which I really don’t want to do. I know movies like Collateral Beauty, The Do-Over and The Forest exist but I’m not gonna watch them. Not for an updated worst of the year list anyways.

Without further ado, here they are, the worst of the worst.

Honourable Mention

Allegiant

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Originally Allegiant wasn’t going to be on this list, it was slightly above average when I first saw it. However over time, Allegiant got worse the more I thought about it. In retrospect it was such a mediocre movie. It was just so forgettable, I remembered much more from Divergent and Insurgent, which is saying a lot considering that those movies weren’t that great either.

The only particularly good thing I remember from the movie is Miles Teller. Everything else just felt so generic and boring. I don’t even remember what the movie is about, the story was so uninteresting and it didn’t feel like much had happened, not surprising, considering they tried to force the last book in the series to be split into 2 parts, which was completely forced. Jeff Daniels doesn’t even leave that much of an impression. It’s no surprise that this movie bombed at the box office and the planned 4th movie is being made into a TV movie. This movie wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t good at all really.

My review of Allegiant

10. Ghostbusters

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The Ghostbusters reboot was very divisive. Some people loved this movie, other people tore it to shreds, calling it one of the all time worst movies of the year. I’m neither of these people. Ghostbusters just ended up being a mediocre movie for me, while it’s not bad it definitely has a lot of problems.

This movie isn’t good, the humour for the most part didn’t work and unlike the original which was somewhat subtle, here it’s over the top and borderline annoying. The leads had no chemistry, the special effects were hit or miss and I found it hard to connect with the story or the characters. At the same time, the movie wasn’t really that bad either. It didn’t bore me, some of the jokes worked and Kate McKinnon and Chris Hemsworth were the highlights. I have to say, Ghostbusters is really the most disappointing movie on this list, it had so much potential but all of it is wasted. Still, it’s not the worst movie I’ve seen this year.

My review for Ghostbusters 2016.

9. Independence Day: Resurgence

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Independence Day Resurgence was probably the worst movie I’ve actually watched in the cinemas. I sorta knew how I would feel about this movie beforehand but still it wasn’t easy sitting through this movie. The movie was 10 years too late, they shouldn’t have even bothered trying to make a sequel to the original.

I knew this movie would have some dumb moments and lines, with over the top action and overuse of CGI, that’s what we got. What I wasn’t expecting was how dull and boring this movie would be. The attempts at humour fall flat and are extremely forced. Not even the action was that great, the CG was mediocre looking, it didn’t help that a whole lot of CG was overused. The enjoyable bits about the movie were some of the cast, with Jeff Goldblum being the standout. That’s it. Otherwise it was completely boring, uninteresting and not even entertaining.

My review for Independence Day: Resurgence.

8. Grimsby

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Grimsby didn’t look great from the trailers but the actual movie was far worse. Aside from a few jokes that worked, this movie just wasn’t very funny. And when you have a comedy that’s not funny and has nothing else to offer, that’s really unfortunate.

Honestly it’s not just that Grimsby wasn’t that funny, it also quite often got annoying. This movie tries so hard to be funny that it’s actually painful. That elephant scene for instance, it was trying to hard to be gross and funny and while it certainly was gross, it wasn’t funny in the slightest. Aside from a few jokes, the only other good parts were Mark Strong and the action. Everything else was annoying and forced. Grimsby had some potential to be a good comedy but unfortunately it was a dud.

My review of Grimsby.

7. Alice Through the Looking Glass

Alice (Mia Wasikowska) returns to the whimsical world of Underland and travels back in time to save the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) in Disney's ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, an all-new adventure featuring the unforgettable characters from Lewis Carroll's beloved stories.

I didn’t have any expectations for this film. I really don’t like the first Alice in Wonderland at all and from all the trailers, Alice Through the Looking Glass looked horrendous. Although the sequel wasn’t quite as awful as I thought it would be, it was still quite bad, and in retrospect probably worse than the original Alice movie, which is saying a lot.

I will give the movie that Mia Wasikowskaand Sacha Baron Cohen were good in their roles. That’s it though. The script had a lot of ideas that they tried to implement, however they don’t fit in together well. The acting for the most part is over the top and the characters are absolute cartoons (and even worse than in the previous movie), I only liked Alice and Time in the film. The effects also weren’t good, even worse than om the previous movie, everything looked so artificial and fake it’s honestly surprising. Alice Through the Looking Glass is about as bad as the original, it’s yet another sequel which really didn’t need to happen in the first place.

My review of Alice Through the Looking Glass

6. The 5th Wave

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The 5th Wave is yet another YA adaptation which absolutely fails. It’s a shame because the film did have some potential, especially with its premise. However after the first act which was okay, it turns into a typical YA film with the usual clichés and flaws.

For a movie with an interesting premise, the story was pretty boring. The characterisation is also was lacklustre, it’s hard to care about what’s going on. None of the actors get a chance to shine, not even Liev Schrieber. I guess in terms of good things, the direction wasn’t terrible I guess, but that’s really it. There’s not much in the movie to really enjoy. The 5th Wave made enough money to have a sequel (the 5th wave book series has 3 books) but I don’t know if anyone actually wants them. I know that I don’t want them.

My review of The 5th Wave.

5. Gods of Egypt

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Gods of Egypt looked like it was going to be horrible, just based off the trailer. It was indeed horrible but unexpectedly a movie that I love because of how hilariously bad it is. Everything from the poor special effects, to the odd story choices and to the over the top acting is so funny. It is undoubtable a bad movie but I loved watching it.

In terms of legitimately good aspects about this movie, Gerald Butler and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau were actually entertaining in their roles, and it was enjoyable to watch them on screen, especially Gerald Butler, who really hams up his role as the villain. Aside from that, everything else is bad. The rest of the acting is either over the top or generically bad, the story is random and the special effects…. so so bad, with obvious green screen. Oh and also, not one Egyptian actor, not really sure what’s up with that. Honestly, I recommend seeing this movie, just to see how bad it is, I think in time it will be up there with movies like The Room in terms of hilariously bad movies.

My review of Gods of Egypt.

4. Nine Lives

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I actually can’t believe that this film exists, or that I actually watched it. This is a movie where Kevin Spacey is stuck in the body of a cat. Nine Lives feels like a failed kids movie that should’ve come out in the 90s (or not at all). But somehow it ended up being released in 2016. With somehow both the childish and adult humour which didn’t really work and the random plot decisions, this movie was a really odd one to watch.

I have to say, watching this movie was a weird experience for me and after thinking about it, I don’t hate it. I almost enjoy this movie. It’s not boring, the actors seemed to know what sort of movie they are in, the CGI cat when used, while not good, wasn’t terrible (not Garfield level anyways). And a lot of weird and funny stuff happens. Oh and Christopher Walken, I love me some Christopher Walken. But yeah, the film is still terrible, I’m not sure what brought all these actors and the director (who also did the Men in Black movies) to make this movie.

My review of Nine Lives.

3. Cell

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Cell was way worse than I thought it would be. Not only is the story boring and the characterisation poor, the direction was completely incompetent. From what I can tell, this is the worst Stephen King adaptation ever, and after seeing this movie I won’t be surprised if that’s the case.

In terms of good things, this movie does have Samuel L. Jackson, and Isabelle Fuhrman, they were good in the movie. Also, this movie is hilariously bad as well. The direction is so incompetent it’s hilarious. The opening airport scene itself it an indicator of how badly this film is directed. I will also never forget the time the Trololo song played. Because of those aspects I don’t hate the movie, but it’s still so awful.

My review of Cell.

2. Max Steel

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There’s really nothing to enjoy about Max Steel. Everything in this movie, writing, acting, direction, all of it is so faulty and broken. I actually wonder why this movie exists. This movie is trying to be a superhero movie while based upon Max Steel, the action figure. This movie didn’t really need to exist at all.

The acting is passable at best (Maria Bello), horrible at worst (Ben Winchell), the direction was terrible, and the story had nothing to it. It’s like it’s trying to imitate other ‘dark’ superhero movies except it’s not good in the slightest. I couldn’t care about what was going on. Throw in a bad romance story and you get a horrible movie. So this movie wasn’t interesting and it wasn’t even entertaining, not even unintentionally (save for one or two moments). So yeah, Max Steel kinda sucks.

My review of Max Steel.

1. Norm of the North

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Norm of the North is not only the worst animated film I’ve ever seen, it’s also one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my life. I heard the stories about how horrible this movie was. But I never knew it was going to be this horrid.

Where to start with this movie? First of all, the story wasn’t interesting or entertaining, I can’t even see young kids enjoying this. It tries to have a message about protecting the environment but even the film gets distracted and forgets about that message so often. The comedy was horrendous with no joke being funny and most of them obnoxious and forced. They don’t seem to realize that a twerking bear or lemmings pissing into a fish tank aren’t funny. The animation was also so lazy and terrible, and the character designs had no effort put into it. How this film managed to somehow end up in cinemas is beyond me. This film astounded me in how horrible it was. Congrats Norm of the North, you are the worst movie of 2016.

My review of Norm of the North.

So what were the worst films you saw this year? Comment below and let me know.

Nine Lives (2016) Review

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Time: 87 Minutes
Age Rating: 120px-OFLCN_-_PG.svg[1]
Cast:
Kevin Spacey as Tom Brand
Jennifer Garner as Lara Brand
Robbie Amell as David Brand
Cheryl Hines as Madison Camden
Malina Weissman as Rebecca Brand
Christopher Walken as Felix Perkins
Mark Consuelos as Ian Cox
Director: Barry Sonnenfeld

Tom Brand (Kevin Spacey) is a billionaire whose workaholic lifestyle takes him away from his loving wife Lara and adorable daughter Rebecca. Needing a present for Rebecca’s 11th birthday, Brand buys a seemingly harmless cat from a mysterious pet store. Suddenly, a bizarre turn of events traps poor Tom inside the animal’s body. The owner of the business tells him that he has one week to reconnect with his family, or live out the rest of his days as a cute and furry feline named Mr. Fuzzypants.

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I can’t believe this movie actually exists, nor can I believe that director Barry Sonnenfeld (Men in Black films) and actor Kevin Spacey is involved with this movie. Everything from the premise to the trailer looked like a bad kids movie from the 90s. And this movie is just as bad as it looked in the trailer. It is unfunny, stupid, silly and just doesn’t make any sense. But we all knew that it would be like that, just look at the trailer.

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This movie is really lazily written with mostly unfunny jokes and is just overall not written well at all. Before anyone dismisses this movie as “just a kids film” and that no one should be too harsh on this movie, this movie has no idea what it’s target audience is. Sometimes it’s trying to appeal to kids with childish humour. Other times it’s filled with long business meetings that no kid would be interested in. Also there are some really adult stuff in this, way too much alcoholism in this movie and some jokes that kids won’t understand at all. They felt really out of place. And this film really isn’t right for kids. I’ll give an example, at one point (spoiler alert but who cares?) someone tries to commit suicide. In this movie. A kids movie. About someone who turns into a cat. This movie also has many jokes that didn’t land at all. The only points that I found the movie funny were some of the jokes that only adults would get and some moments which were so ridiculous.

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Maybe it’s just because I’m a Kevin Spacey fan but I enjoyed seeing (or in this case mostly hearing) him in this movie. However, it’s not really a good ‘performance’ and this might be the worst movie he’s ever been in. At times it sounded like he really didn’t want to be in this movie (which I admit I found a little entertaining). Christopher Walken is enjoyable in this movie, but it’s probably because he’s Christopher Walken, and his mere involvement with a movie automatically makes said movie better. Everyone else is wasted. Jennifer Garner is in this movie and doesn’t get to do much. Basically this movie is a paycheck for the actors involved. The performances aren’t good but to be fair, it’s not like they have good material to work with.

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This film is incredibly cheap. Everything feels off about this movie, direction wise. This film uses green screen so much and it is painfully obvious, which is especially shown in the first scene. It’s so embarrassing. And of course this film has a CGI cat and the animation is horrible. It is Garfield: The Movie level bad. The CGI is straight out of the 90s (which fits as this whole movie is straight out of the 90s).

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Nine Lives is really bad but everyone sorta knew that it would be that way. The acting is not that great, the writing is all over the place and not even the direction is that good. If you for whatever reason were expecting this to be a good film, it’s not that at all. But I will admit there is something fascinating about this movie, the fact that it exists in today’s world. So I can’t really say that I hate this movie, it was a weird experience for me as I watched it, I still feel confused after watching it. But yeah, the movie is still awful.